RIA Ideology Contest

A photo of a plank of wood painted green with dark yellow spots and a heart carved deeply into it.

DJ Hadoken Exlamparaaghis has this to say:

BlindPanzer had a good idea, we should have a contest to see who can make the best picture that represents RIA’s ideology.

The prize is a promotion in the RIA Zealot Army. And recognition as a hero in the War Against Dracula & His Army of Monsters.

Just post your stuff here, multiple entries are fine. Deadline is sooner better than later since we all know how slow we can be.

Use any medium you want, hand draw it, digitally paint it, do whatever you like. Just post it here when you’re done.

Top Comments

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) comments:
I love how we use “contest” to refer to a competition between 1 person. That’s it, one person. It’s a way to encourage that one person to surpass their own expectations. Although, to be perfectly honest, sometimes we have 2 people take part. Soooometimes 3. LET’S BREAK THE RECORD.

BlindPanzer responds:
Because of that comment I will not be doing a picture for this. Thanks a lot, DJ Benvenuto.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds back:
Haha. Let’s see if anyone even tries. My negativity may prove to be the catalyst for somebody to take action. However, my saying that my negativity will be the catalyst for action may also prove to be the cause for no entries at all. Let’s see what happens.

The Funk Mistress comments:
I have been meaning to make something for this. But it’s a lot like how I’ve been meaning to finish that video.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:
You should. I want to see that video.

DJ Hadoken Exlamparaaghis comments:
It’s okay, take your time. That’s why there’s no deadline for the contest.

Remember, this is all being run under the great Yartitovan system.

Guest comments:
I guess no deadline is our policy.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:

The Funk Mistress comments:
I really should enter. I mean, as the sole entry in two months, I would pretty much be declared winner. But then again, I STILL haven’t finished that video. Soon though. Soon. I promise. Maybe.

The Funk Mistress comments again:
Attention: This is the most hilarious thing I have ever heard.

::points to boob, other boob, crotch, and butt::
“Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made.”

Yes, I saw it on Family Guy just now. Doesn’t make it any less hilarious. HILARIOUS.

Also hilarious: A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey, you have a steering wheel on your crotch,” and the pirate says, “Arrgh. It’s drivin’ me nuts.”
True story. Billy Brown Pubes, one of the pirates in my all-pirate book club, told me it happened to his cousin.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:
No, a news anchor calling somebody a lamester by accident on live TV is funny.

The Funk Mistress responds back:
I concur.

P.S. - I have my idea for the contest. Now let’s see if I can pull it off.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) comments:
I’d just like you to finish your video.

The Funk Mistress responds:
Yeah yeah, I’m working on it.

Thursday - Music video.
Friday - Think of and make a reward for TornadoChaser.
Saturday - RIA contest. And boy is it good.

now back to the blog...

The Funk Mistress comments:
Listen to me gloating. I’m just setting everyone up for disappointment.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:
Coooome on. You can do it.

The Funk Mistress comments:

Back Row: Zath, DJ Benvenuto, The Funk Mistress, The Woodsman, BlindPanzer
Front Row: DJ Hadoken, The General

Ok, so just looking at this picture you might think, “What the hell? This doesn’t represent RIA’s ideology. It’s just some stupid clothespin figures.” But, upon closer inspection, you will realize many things.

1 - It’s crappy, which is something RIA is really good at: crappy stuff done crappily.

2 - It’s weird. Something else we excel at.

3 - Two guys are grabbing my rear-end. RIA is a huge fan of touch gropering.

4 - A lot of people have their arms thrown into the air. This is because we are very happy and fun-loving people. Weeee! Also, it was the easiest position to glue the clothespins into. RIA also loves taking the easy way out.

5 - The Woodsman’s shirt says “Publix.” RIA likes money, particularly spending it on frivolous things. A job at Publix is just the place to get money. We also like food, and what better place to get food than at Publix? Publix also sells most of the things we need for our antics.

6 - BlindPanzer’s shirt says “Metal Shirt.” This is because it was easier to fit than “Pain of Salvation.” In any case, RIA likes music.

7 - The background. I mean really, what the hell is that? Who knows? RIA is an enigma.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:
Woo. I think we have a winner.

BlindPanzer comments:
And DJ Benvenuto looks wacky...

Zath comments:
Man do I look cool... and I have a unique pose too!

The Funk Mistress comments:
Winner by default. Not amazing at all, but I’ll take what I can get. Do I win anything?

Also, everyone who had a figure made of them gets to keep it. But if all you’re gonna do is throw it away, just tell me so I don’t give it to you. That’s a good chunk of my life there.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) comments:
I still have DJ Hadoken’s and The General’s. They forgot them.

The Funk Mistress responds:
DJ Hadoken forgot his. But I’ll bet money that The General just didn’t want it.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds back:
Should I give it back to you then? So you can do voodoo to it.

The Funk Mistress comments:
I don’t know about voodoo to DJ Hadoken’s. But I can think of some things I’d like to do to yours.

DJ Hadoken Exlamparaaghis responds:
Yeah, I forgot mine twice.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) comments:
Accept no substitutions. You’ve got the real thing right here.


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