Jurassic World Burgers:
Thick Beef & Garlic Onion Beef Burger (2025)
Thick Beef & Garlic Onion Beef Burger (2025)
Food Review
“So small I can’t remember what it tasted like.”
Reviewed by Dr. DJ Hadoken 7 the Fake Paleontologist
The premiere of “Jurassic World Rebirth” is just around the corner. I know that in the U.S.A. the premiere is set for July 2. In Japan, the “roadshow” (premiere) doesn’t start until August 8. But in the meantime, Universal and McDonald’s have decided to collaborate on a different kind of “movie”.
I’m talking about none other than the Japan-exclusive “Jurassic World Burgers” prequel trilogy. This prequel trilogy apparently takes place at a McDonald’s just before the “Jurassic World Rebirth” heroes set out on their journey. The “movies” in this prequel trilogy all star YOU, the customer, and your stomach.
In order to “watch” this prequel trilogy, you have to go to McDonald’s and order one of these burgers. Or order McDelivery. Universal and McDonald’s make sure to clearly communicate that McDelivery is TOTALLY POSSIBLE. Some of the commercials feature A HELICOPTER MCDELIVERING MCDONALD’S TO A MOSASAURUS.
The first “movie” in this prequel trilogy that I decided to “watch” (as you may have already guessed from the title of this post) was “Thick Beef & Garlic Onion Beef Burger”.
The burger is featured next to a T-Rex on the official “movie poster” for this trilogy of burgers. The burger appears to be significantly larger than the dinosaur. The title suggests that perhaps there is some really thick, T-Rex caliber beef in this burger. So my expectations were high (not really).
Of course, the T-Rex’s mouth is open— it and the other dinosaurs are ready to take a chomp out of their respective burgers. So you’d better “watch” this prequel trilogy before the dinosaurs run, fly, or swim away with your meal.
I also ordered a “Jurassic World Pineapple Melon McFizz”, with cream on top. But apparently the cream machine was out of order, so I received a partial refund for just the cream part and ended up with a regular “Jurassic World Pineapple Melon McFizz”.
Now that I think about it, I’m not sure whether that cream was ice cream, whipped cream, or dinosaur cream. So, I was probably better off not consuming more mystery ingredients than necessary. This is modern-day McDonald’s, after all.
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I made sure to order a double “bai” Big Mac and large fries because I've learned not to expect much in terms of volume from these McDonald’s “gimmick” burgers. It’s been all downhill with McDonald’s (in Japan, at least) since they eliminated the double quarter pounder several years ago. I can’t say a double Big Mac is a sufficient replacement for a double quarter pounder with cheese, but it’s the next best burger on the menu, volume-wise.
The “Thick Beef & Garlic Onion Beef Burger” looks disgusting. Much smaller and less appetizing than the advertisement. According to the McDonald’s website, the buns are supposed to resemble the claw marks of a dinosaur. In my opinion, the “claw marks” make it look nastier. It looks like a cheeseburger that has been rotting away in the sun for so long that the bread has started to crack open.
I finished it in like 3 bites. I don’t think that a T-Rex would even notice this in its mouth. It would probably be dissolved by all of the enzymes in its saliva and slobbered away before it even enters its digestive system.
But McDonald’s has been this way for years, so I was not surprised. And I’ll admit, despite its appearance, it was pretty tasty. But not worth the time, money, or effort. That’s because the tastiest part was the garlic onion beef glop that was slathered all over the not-so “thick” beef. It’s about the same quality that you might find on something like a frozen microwave meal.
The burger was so small and the taste of the garlic onion beef glop was so strong that I can’t remember or had enough time to notice what the rest of the burger tasted like. I kind of remember tasting that yellowish mystery goo a.k.a. “special sauce” that resembles mustard. But that’s about it.
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The “Jurassic World Pineapple Melon McFizz” is really just a “Melon Fanta” with some mystery pineapple flavoring added to it. The McDonald’s website states that it’s only 1% pineapple juice, so it indeed is a mystery as to what’s in it besides the “Melon Fanta”. The very bottom of it is slightly orange-colored. I guess that’s supposed to be the “pineapple juice” part, but it doesn’t look like pineapple juice to me.
The pineapple taste was barely noticeable. But I like “Melon Fanta”, so no complaint taste-wise. Ordering a “Melon Fanta” with no ice would have been a better value, since half of the “McFizz” was large chunks of ice, anyway.
And for some reason, it is served in a plastic cup with a paper straw. What’s the point of the paper straw in this scenario? They might as well make the lid like a Starbucks-style sippy cup and eliminate the straw altogether. Anyway, if you want to read more of my thoughts concerning paper straws, check out my Starbucks Bird Poop post.
In conclusion, it has been a couple of hours since I “watched” the first installment of the “Jurassic World Burgers” prequel trilogy and I have not had diarrhea. However, there was a young woman sitting near me that did run to the bathroom in the middle of her meal. I don’t what she ordered, though.
SO, CONSUME AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Helicopter and Mosasaurus “McDelivery” commercial:
McDonald’s Japan “Jurassic World Burgers” campaign site:
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