No I'm Not Dead, But Thanks For You Concern



A photo of an angry-looking weasel peering through a fence.

The Funk Mistress has this to say:

It has been nearly TWO MONTHS since my last update and NO ONE even cared to ask what happened.

What if I was lying dead in a ditch somewhere?

What if rabid weasels had come upon me in the night and EATEN me alive?

Worse yet, what if I had been attacked by ninjas again???

Mind you, all of these tragedies are things that any Funk Mistress worth her weight in Funk is well equipped to handle.

But a little sympathy would have been nice.

Heartbreakers.


Tangent

Today at work, I went to the cafeteria to get some breakfast.

While I was butting the line (because I am an adult and with great power comes little regard for children and the less powerful) I noticed a kid staring very intently at me.

At the chestial region. With his mouth open a little. And his eyes kinda wide.

I didn't get it until I walked by a window and noticed my reflection... Cleavage!

Little dirty deed loving 5th grader.


STOP LOOKING AT MY BOOBIES!
THEY ARE NOT OUT FOR YOU!
THEY ARE OUT FOR PEOPLE AGED 20+ (like Tony Curran).


Real News

I have decided on not one but TWO new projects I am going to make.

One is a new music video.

The other is a film, though I have NO CLUE how I am going to film it since I refuse to use other people's equipment or let anyone help me.

I have a few ideas though.

In any case, it will have ACTION! DRAMA! COMEDY! and even some ROMANCE!

It will be a ActiDramaComeMance!

Hooray!


Top Comments


Luke Skywalker comments with this:
I care!


The Funk Mistress responds back:
I wish I could be all like "I am your father," but I don't have a penis in any sense of the word.
Woe is me.


nice site!!! says:
i luv your fein site


Mr. AnakinGuy comments with this:
HEHE... I care too


The Funk Mistress responds back:
Oh man!
Two people who I suspect are fans we've never met before.
The Funk Mistress is wicked stoked.

My entire Sunday has been brightened.


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