It's a matter of taste

The cover image of a vintage comic book featuring Superman, Robin, and Batman.

It's a matter of taste
(A Forums Poll)

Who do you think would taste better?

Batman : 57% [ 4 ]
Superman : 42% [ 3 ]

Total Votes : 7

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) has this to say:

I've asked it before but here it is again.

Top Comments

Zath comments:
I've done a little research on this. Actually, I've done none.

In Superman 2, Zod notices a slippery liquid (water) that's not on their home planet. This means that they don't utilize water in their cells (which could explain their dense body structure).

Now Batman's cells have 70% water in them but Superman should have none. So when you taste Batman's flesh you'd get something that's saturated with water, while Superman's flesh isn't saturated with anything, so you'd get a high concentration of just pure meat.

Like with Quik. You add it to your milk, and you'd get somewhat of a nice chocolaty taste, but take a spoon full of that powder and it's a forbidden delight.

So yeah, Superman's flesh should taste better, I would think.

DJ Hadoken Exlamparaaghis comments:
I agree with Zath.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:
Excellent theory.

However, Clark Kent eats and drink what we do. So unless he actually gets all of his nourishment from the sun (which I don't think so) he has to get some of it from what he consumes.

I suppose his body adapted to this world. Of course, “adapting” may not make perfect sense either. If his cells don't contain water then I don't think they can completely restructure themselves overnight. So, I'm thinking that they didn't think that angle all the way through in the Superman movies. It may and I'd venture to say probably isn't even in the comics.

Regardless though, I'd say Superman may very well taste awful or even be poisonous to us, but I'd take the risk. I think that at worst he'd taste bad. At best he'd taste better than anything you've ever tasted before. It's a gamble but I don't mind.

Zath responds back:
Yes, the writers of the movies did mess a lot of stuff up.

I mean when I realized there was no water on Krypton I was like, “what the hell?” He could of drank the water but probably didn't utilize it.

But I do believe he gets nutrients from his food, which is what I forgot to mention. Food has a lot of the basic molecules for life.

But yeah, there's little information on Kryptonian's cellular make-up. I figured that the cells are just like ours but a lot denser. But yeah, aliens could taste bad, but they can taste good as well.

Who knows? We might one day have some sort of alien species in our menus.

DJ Hadoken Exlamparaaghis comments:
Yeah, but how would a fork and knife even work to eat him..? And wouldn't all your teeth break to pieces trying to chew?

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:
I think I remember seeing an episode of the Kids' WB Superman cartoon where they show Krypton and there's waterfalls and fountains all over the place.

I may be confusing this with something else, but I think I'm right. I think the writers of the movies were just going for that cheesy “I don't know anything about Earth because I'm an alien” sort of thing and they didn't think about the consequences.

As for the matter of the skin and flesh and how hard it should be, I'd like to think that it isn't. If his skin and flesh were like metal or extremely dense and hard, then people in his everyday life would notice that.

Clark Kent, as far as I know never has people ask him, “Hey, what the hell is wrong with your skin?” So, I'll assume that his ability to deflect bullets is something that isn't always “on”. Whether it activates unconsciously or when he flexes, it doesn't matter. The fact is that it probably works in one of those two ways.

So, in order to get a good Superman dish, you want to lock him up in a room with no sunlight until he loses enough strength so that you can slice his throat but not so much that he is completely weakened. You want some of that Superman power in your burger.

I suppose you could also get someone strong enough to beat him up until he dies. Then you have the added bonus of tenderized meat and full Superman power still within the meat.

now back to the blog...

Zath responds back:
Yes, good argument. His abilities might not always be on. But I'd think you'd need Kryptonite to eat his flesh.

Because the thing about being in a dark room, well, what happens to him in the night time, with a new moon? I don't think he's like Birdman where he needs to be exposed to the sun. I think the presence of it or being near it is enough. Like he's connected to it through an electromagnetic force.

Or it could be a spiritual thing. But I'm just throwing ideas out there. My knowledge of Superman is not from the comic books but from other sources, so I don't know that much about it.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) comments:
I know he gets his energy from the sun and I think I saw on the cartoon that after some time of solar deprivation he was weakened.

He's kind of like Birdman except his battery is far larger and more potent than Birdman's. That's why Birdman is a lawyer now.

Superman can probably get energy from the moon since it is reflecting the sun's rays.

However, none of this really matters. Doomsday managed to beat Superman up enough to “kill” him. Therefore, he beat him up enough to make a burger out of him.

We don't have to worry about the whole sun thing. I'd like to avoid the Kryptonite thing because I want the purest Superman meat possible.

The Funk Mistress comments:
If Doomsday “beat him up” as opposed to just “beat him” as in “defeated him” than he would not only have killed the cattle, he would have tenderized the meat as well.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:
Yes. Exactly. That's one reason why I would prefer that method of death for my burger.

DJ Hadoken Exlamparaaghis comments:
What the heck is wrong with you people......? Superman sucks.

The Funk Mistress responds:
Hey, I voted Batman.

I was just saying that Superman meat is pre-tenderized in the event that someone literally beats him up.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) comments:
This isn't about who is cooler or who would win in a fight or who is more powerful or who is smarter. This is about who would taste better.

The Funk Mistress comments:
I still think Batman would taste best.

I have no good science to base it on. It's just like if someone asks, “What would taste better, liver or chicken?” I know I'm eating chicken. If someone asks, “What would taste better, Superman or Batman?” I know I'm going for Batman.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:
There's no correct answer to the question.

As I've said before, Superman could taste incredible or he could even be poisonous to you. I don't think he would be poisonous, but I don't think it can be proved.

So you can pick Batman if you want, but you've never tasted that either. Unless you've ordered a number 32 from that take-out restaurant we used to order from.

Of course, we know that human wouldn't taste all that remarkably different from most other meats, so just like chicken and liver you have an idea of what it tastes like, however small it may be.

Superman, he's an Archie McPhee mystery bag and that's where the fun is.

The Funk Mistress responds back:
See, I don't like mystery. At least not where my mouth is concerned. And maybe that's why I chose Batman. And why I require testing for diseases.

TornadoChaser comments:
I dunno about alien meats, but people have been eating each other for ages.

Zath comments:
Oh man, this argument has gone on for two pages... FANTASTIC!

The Funk Mistress responds:
Haha and you probably jinxed it.

DJ Hadoken Exlamparaaghis comments:
This thread started sickening me so I stopped caring.

DJ Benvenuto the Raccoon II (With the Funny Hat) responds:
Haha. You're such a pansy.

Now it's a tie. Who HASN'T VOTED???


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