What should DJ Hadoken do?

A close-up photo of a person holding a pen and a notebook in their lap, writing a to-do list.

DJ Benvenuto the "Felonious" Raccoon has this to say:

What should DJ Hadoken do while he’s in Japan...? What a question...

Well, here are a few answers.

• Punch some random local guy.

• Scream profanities on the street.

• Tell a local (in their own language, of course) that you don’t like their family, their culture, their currency, their face, their way of speaking, etc.

• Hang out with the drifters and get some footage of drifting, if possible, since you have seen them already.

• Interview some person on the street, much like DJ Skittles and I did.

• Go to school dressed up as Pander (from Bust-A-Groove 2) like you did for Halloween (a while ago).

• Introduce us to your host family a little better.

• Make babies.

• Make a low budget pleasurable entertainment video.

• Rap like Kewl Kat.

• Get footage of Initial D Arcade Stage for us poor people in the U.S. that will never get to play it.

• Go to a store and ask “Doko wa Harudocoro P*runo?”

• Beat up that other exchange student... I always forget his name... it was UnfamiliarDude, right?

• Ask for the nearest lamester club.

• Film yourself watching your pleasurable entertainment video that features vampires.

• Dance with your little host brother.

• When your host family isn’t around, imitate the classic scene from Strictly Business. You know... the Tom Cruise movie with Old Time Rock & Roll, sunglasses, underwear, white button-down shirt... the whole nine yards... eh, you probably don’t know. (Your lack of pop culture knowledge baffles me).

• Make babies.

• Make a low budget pleasurable entertainment video.

• Raise a cat, just like Ryo Hazuki from Shenmue.

• Raise an orphan but... raise it like a lamester.

• Eat tons of candy until you almost throw up... much like The General and I do.

• Get some dry ice and... well, you know the rest, don’t you?

• Go up to a police officer and scream, “BAKA GAIJIN!!!! BAKA GAIJIN!” (stupid foreigner).

• Surprise me.

• Dastardly deed... scare the people on your bus.

• Bear-hug Takumi Fujiwara.

• Go into fake seizures, somewhere.

• Do a one man showing of Othello on the street.

• Smash a computer monitor and dump it in some random person’s trash can... much like The General and I did...

• Hijack something and... no, been done already, forget it.

Wow, that’s about all I could come up with. I’ll keep thinking though...

And yeah, no bear-hugging females... or males...


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