The Untouchables (1987) Review

Robert De Niro, Kevin Costner, Sean Connery, and other actors from The Untouchables.

DJ Wang has this to say:

Still no Japanese teacher. What a surprise.

So instead in Japanese class we watched The Untouchables. That’s Italian.

I don’t know how Taiwan Sensei (the Grenade-Throwing Japanese Language Instructor from Taiwan) feels about Italians but if it’s anything like the um... non-Taiwanese then look out.

But I did learn a lot from that movie. Some things such as:

Never shoot another man’s hat. It will only get him really mad and throw you off a building.

Also, if your name is Sean Connery then you can take like 15 bullets straight in the chest at point blank range (he is 50 something in the movie) and still have enough strength to crawl back inside your house, type a nice note, clean yourself off and live for another couple hours for your partner to find you. If you can do this, you are a real man.

It must be all the James Bond in him because there is this one part when they are trying to capture some mafiosos and you hear Sean mutter under breath, "If only I had my jetpack."

Throughout the entire movie everyone, and I mean everyone, had a hat, a big coat, and a gun hidden under a big coat.

I got to thinking. What if your wife cleaned your coat and lost your favorite mafioso-shooting gun? She would probably replace it with something stupid like a note apologizing for washing the gun.

Wouldn’t you look like a fool trying to fight crime with some stationary?

To paraphrase the words of Sean Connery:

“Just like a LAMESTER to bring a POST-IT NOTE to a gun fight.”

Good news people.

The bench we stole is still where we left it.

And we have a trash can now.



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