California Suite (2001) Review



A photograph of a theater stage and red curtains.

More from DJ Wang in the afternoon:

Well, today was crazy cool. At least for me it was.

In Japanese class we did a little dance.

Atama, Kata, Hiza, Ashi, Hiza, Ashi.

That’s how you remember the body parts.

When that was over with, I had to go to my next chamber of horrors. But to my surprise the demon spawn wasn’t there to teach. We had a poet as our substitute.

He insulted The Funk Reaper. He referred to his mutton chops, goatee, mustache, and beard as fuzz. The whole class laughed. The reason being that his back is as hairy as Mighty Joe Young’s arm pit.

Since our teacher was M.I.A., as a class we took the time to ponder where she went.

Did she go to Temptation Island? Take a flight to Mardi Gras? Having a hangover? Who knows?

The West Side Story re-enactment was funky today. We had a whole audience watching us. And some innocent bystanders, like the Firemonkey, even got “air poked”.

Those punks that sit across from us didn’t throw anything at us today. We made sure they were tired from moving their bench back to where it was. And they were guarding it this morning just so that we wouldn’t move it again.

We love playing mind games... Later I stole their trash can.

Why?
Why did I steal it?
Why do we stack the benches?
Why anything?!

At the end of the day, The Funk Reaper and I had to go see a school play based on Neil Simon’s California Suite in the auditorium for FREE!

HAHA! on DJ Hadoken, DJ Benvenuto, and DJ Fuji! They had to spend $5.00 on the play haha!

I thought the first scene was dreadfully boring. Some prep was going on about something. I don’t know what exactly. All I heard was Scotch and something about tennis. I think that scene needed a vampire or something like West Side Story to jazz it up.

Second scene was pretty good. It was about a hooker and a Bar Mitzvah. That’s all that seemed important at the moment.

Third scene was a bit of a let down. It was about some Brits and the Oscar Awards or something. The woman complained about something with a hump on her shoulder and that her hair was terrible. I thought that she should have gone on a crazy rampage. That could have really made the play come to life. But instead they just drank a lot of booze.

One thing I noticed that was consistent with the play was boozing and sex.

The last act was about some couples that played tennis and died or something. I wasn’t really paying attention when this all happened. Later the husbands started getting into a fight in the closet and then they came out of the closet with their shirts ripped. One was holding his crotch and the other was holding his mouth. I wonder what happened...

Well that’s the end of that.

So, farewell.

I’m off to the hardware store to see if they carry any humane animal traps.

I have a feeling DJ Benvenuto is coming back and this time I’m going to be ready.


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