The Funk Mistress has this to say:
I am sitting next to a little list.
Well, not really sitting next to it. It’s not like it has its own chair or anything.
Honestly, it’s posted up on a magnet board in front of me. But its location is not what’s important. Its CONTENTS are.
It is a list of RIA related funk I need to accomplish. That’s right, the First Lady of RIA is getting her funk on track.
I think I have trouble setting and keeping goals over the summer because the parts of my brain involved with functions other than eating, sleeping, pooping, and washing filth off my body just pretty much shut the hell down over the summer.
Also, I rent a significantly greater amount of video games and movies over the summer. Especially now that I signed up for Hollywood Video’s Double Feature program.
I didn’t really want it, but I did want to get the hell out of there with my stupid games and was willing to do anything short of blowing a bear to do it.
In any case, those of you who visit the board might already know that I have completed and posted my entry for the RIA Ideology contest.
For those of you who DON’T go the board, to hell with you. We don’t like your kind. But if you insist on lurking on the site, you might as well lurk on over to the forums and check out the post (Call of the Ancients > Contest: RIA’s Ideology).
And while you are there you can sign up with a username. If you don’t, we will find you and dastardly deed you in your sleep. Don’t believe me? I’d tell you to ask the others who didn’t register, but you’d never find the... what you bargained for.
As you might know from my previous update (the one where I said I was gonna get stuff done and never did), the resident Funk Mistress follower, TornadoChaser, made a little fan art of me and in honor of it being the first piece of Funk Mistress fan art, I said I’d make a prize.
Well, I agonized for a week before I thought of something cool that would adequately utilize my abilities without putting the video I’ve been working on on the backburner for too long.
I settled on a limerick.
For you, TornadoChaser.
There once was a girl named TornadoChaser
Whose boobs were as big as two babies
But she was quite short
And took her boobs to court
To sue them for making her achy
There you go, TornadoChaser. Enjoy.
Now, before I move on to pertinent information, I would like to describe in words another piece of fan art that my good friend Special Impediment made recently.
It’s me. As a pirate. There is a little parrot on my shoulder which I named Wally. Awesome. Special Impediment and I are great fans of MS Paint art.
Ok, pertinent information (and I use the word “pertinent” loosely).
About two weeks ago, I went to The Big Town to visit my brother, Maguire.
While there, I stayed in his dungeon college cave and meditated, trying to commune with the Ancients.
I succeeded and was blessed with not only a mission, but augmented powers.
The Ancients have told me that RIA will play a significant role in many events to come that will directly affect the fate of Earth.
As such, my powers, though already awesome, must be much stronger. So, the Ancients augmented all my pre-existing powers and made them significantly more powerful.
I must keep the specifics under wraps because our enemies could be reading this. But I CAN say that my immortality has been affected.
And the mission that the Ancients gave me was simple, but important.
The Ancients told me that there will come those who wish to destroy RIA and slander its good name.
I must fight back. I must fight fire with fire.
Mine will be a pre-emptive strike. I am going to launch a smear campaign against our enemies before they have a chance to do it first.
RIA loves playing dirty.
That was some update, huh?
P.S. - I have the song for the video and I’ve already started planning it out. I’m leaving to The Big Town again soon, so at the latest, the video should be done by the time I come back in like two weeks.
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